i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
