Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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