just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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