I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
