I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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