Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
