She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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