just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
