I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
