even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The air taste purple.
Two words: nipple clamps
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