If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
