I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
