He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
