Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
