The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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