you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
