I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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