it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
