Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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