I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
