Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
