Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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