mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I could fuck to npr.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
