he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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