hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I believe in your delicious
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
