so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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