Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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