Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
