The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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