i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i barfeds in our rink
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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