Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
