she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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