the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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