this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
