I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
