he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We're too hungover to prance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
