He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
