drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
