Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize