Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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