Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You ate ashes out of my bong
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
