There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
