24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
