South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
