Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
