Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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