Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
