Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
