I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
