Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
