Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
